Wednesday, May 7, 2014


Why did it take so long for me to get pregnant just so our baby could die?

Why did we lose our baby? We prayed and hoped for our baby for such a long time.

Why are babies born every day to people who don't want them? We wanted our baby so badly.

Why do women who do not value their baby's life get pregnant? We value our baby's life.

What good are You bringing out of this, God?  Show us the good You are bringing out of this. You promised to bring good from all circumstances for those who love You and live according to Your purpose.  We have faith this is true. We do love you, and we try to live according to Your purpose.

This is part of the good work You are going to complete in me one day. What do I need to learn as we walk through this? I want this pain and grief to have meaning.

I know difficult times are when our faith grows. In what areas does my faith in You need to grow? I want You to stretch my faith as far as it can go.

You are using this to make me more like Jesus.

Please let my faith be stronger. Please let me be more like Jesus because of this journey.

I'm realizing more and more that the whys aren't important. God sees the big picture, and I only see my tiny little part that affects me. He sees the impact and meaning my baby's death has, while I only mourn the life that was cut so short. I grieve what will never be. He sees all that is and will be.

The whats and hows are much more important. Realizing what He is teaching me and how I am suppose to walk through this are the things I need to be concerned about. How He is using this in the process of transforming me to look less like me and more like Jesus.

The whys are His. The whats and hows are mine to work through with Him.

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