Monday, May 12, 2014

Mother's Day Memories

     My boys knew how hard Mother's Day was going to be this year, so they went out of their way to make sure it was extra special. On Friday evening, the boys gave me their presents. Logan gave me this canvas.

     Lucas gave me this canvas.

     These pictures reduced me to tears. What a precious sight. The emotions had been building all week. I knew Mother's Day was going to be hard. It was like I had been holding my breath all week. Then the tears came, and it was like I could breathe again.

      On Saturday, Grandma and Papaw came over to celebrate Mother's Day. Joshua grilled hamburgers. The boys enjoyed playing cars and jumping on the trampoline together.

     On Saturday evening, I received the sweetest text from a friend letting me know she was thinking about me and praying for me knowing that Mother's Day was going to be bittersweet for me. She told me how blessed my boys were to have Joshua and I and how thankful she was for our friendship. It was just what I needed.

     On Sunday morning, the boys and I had breakfast together at church. They had the TAG room decorated nice, and Mr. David took our picture. I can't wait to see how that turns out. The boys chose a pink flower to give me.

      I carried my sonogram picture with me all day on Sunday. It made me feel better to know my baby was "close". In the service, they recognized the moms. They had us all stand up, and the youth brought us a flower. It reminded me of my very first Mother's Day when I was pregnant with Logan, and Heather Francis (who was a teenager at the time) gave me a flower and wished me a happy Mother's Day. She was the first person outside of my family to wish me a happy Mother's Day. I'll always remember that.

     Our pastor acknowledge mothers of all kinds. He also acknowledged and prayed for those that Mother's Day is hard for. Those who have lost their mothers, those who have lost children, and those who are unable to have children. That is the first time I remember that being done. Maybe it has been done in the past, and maybe it stuck out to me this year, because I'm one of those mourning the loss of my child. That acknowledgement and prayer brought some peace to my grieving heart.

    After church, Joshua took us to Beto's for lunch. It's one of our favorite places. Even though it was Mother's Day, they still got us in and out pretty quickly. The food was yummy as always.

     I got to come home and take a nice, long nap. Then the boys played while Joshua and I watched a movie.  This year was hard on my mom. My brother is gone to the Navy. He's currently in his training program. It was her first mother's day without him. It's still weird for me as well not to have him around. He was always so good about coming to church with us on these special days for mom. She saw Calli on Thursday, so Mom was just with the boys and I this year.

    Mother's Day was hard. It was bittersweet. But I was reminded of the many, many blessings I still have. And Mother's Day was a victory for me. It was another difficult part of this journey that with God's grace, I made it through. I have a feeling that Mother's Day will be bittersweet for me from now on, but that's okay. I know God will be faithful and continue to give me the grace needed to remember the blessings along with the embracing the pain of loss.

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