Friday, November 18, 2016

Feelings Can't Be Trusted

     I am reminded again today how untrustworthy feelings are. Earlier this week my heart was overwhelmed with gratitude and joy for all the Lord has given me.

     The last couple of days I've wrestled with insecurity and rejection. It's so easy to wallow in self pity. But wallowing will feed the insecurities racing through my mind. 

     Feelings are always changing which is why they can't be trusted. The most successful way to battle insecurity and rejection is with truth-God's truth. 

     So I read and prayed through Psalm 139 and Ephesians 1:3-8. Such rich passages of Scripture reminding me how loved and valued I am by my Creator and Savior. As I soak in the truth of His Word, I am overwhelmed by the peace only Jesus gives. 

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”~John‬ ‭14:27‬ 

Saturday, September 24, 2016

A Well Lived Life

      This morning we celebrated the well lived life of my precious friend, Elizabeth. It was so evident how much she loved and encouraged every one who came in contact with her. No words will ever be adequate to describe how much she means to me and how much I love her. 

     I feel like I've lost my way a little bit without her. Joshua​​ told me as we were getting ready this morning, "It's okay, Kaydi. It's just hard when people have run the good race and fought the good fight. And they finish before you." He is so right. I love how every person who spoke today pointed back to Jesus because that's what Elizabeth always did. 

     I want to be the person who runs the race well, who fights the good fight, and points people back to Jesus. I will be forever thankful for every memory I made with my precious friend, Elizabeth. The last lunch date we had back in June, it was so evident to me she was in pain and she hardly ate at all. Yet our conversation was filled with her concern for me, and God's faithfulness to her. She assured me I didn't need to worry about her. God would take care of her. And He did. Elizabeth received her healing and reward. 

     As we drove home today, I thought about when she had her stroke on June 23, 2014. We weren't sure then if she was going to make it. I had lost our baby girl, Liana Elise 14 weeks in the pregnany in January 2014. I just remember telling God, You took my baby. Please don't take my best friend too. I need her. And God was kind enough to give me two more years with Elizabeth. I had two more years with Elizabeth's example of living well, running the good race, and fighting the good fight. Two more years to learn from Elizabeth what it means to encourage and truly, selflessly love others. 

     I will spend the rest of my days trying to live out the lessons God taught me through Elizabeth. 

“I have fought the good fight, 
I have finished the race, and 
I have remained faithful.”
‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭4:7‬ 

Tuesday, September 13, 2016


     This afternoon, I walked into my friend Krissi's classroom to deliver some gift cards for our friend. Krissi's students were the first class Elizabeth and I taught at UME. They were writing journal entries about Elizabeth. Then Krissi reminded me she needed something about Elizabeth from me. I just teared up. I've sat down to write about her on this blog many times since her death. And I just can't. No words will ever be adequate enough and my emotions are still so overwhelming. I dread walking into the building every morning. It just feels empty without her. Once my students arrive, I'm fine. This loss is so very hard for me. I emailed Krissi what I wrote on Facebook, the day Elizabeth went home to be with Jesus. This is what I posted that day.

This morning, Jesus called one of His beloved, my best friend, Elizabeth home. She is healed, whole, and happy dancing at His feet. Many times over the last 5 years, we have said that God knew we needed each other and perfectly orchestrated events so our lives would intersect. She has always been able to see me-the real me. And she loved me as I was faults and all. She pushed me to be a better teacher, wife, mother, friend. She always pointed me back to Jesus. She took me by the hand and walked through one of the darkest times of my life with me. I was a broken, grieving mess and she held my hand until I could find the light again. I am a better person because I knew her. My heart is shattered over her loss, but how thankful I am to have loved her so deeply that her loss hurts this much. I was reminded today over and over by people who knew us how much she loved me. As I drove onto our school campus this morning trying to hold it together so I could honor her by putting on a smile and teaching my babies like she would have wanted me to do, I saw a beautiful rainbow peeking out between the clouds. What a beautiful reminder of God's faithfulness to Elizabeth as she received her eternal reward this morning and a beautiful reminder to me that He will be faithful to those of us left behind. Elizabeth, I love you. One day we will dance together at the feet of Jesus.
“Precious in the sight of the LORD Is the death of His saints.”~Psalms‬ ‭116:15‬ ‭
     About a week after Elizabeth died, her husband came to check on me after school. He told me it brings him peace, it makes him feel better knowing that Elizabeth is in heaven holding my baby. I miscarried that baby at 14 weeks in January 2014. I wouldn't have made it through that time without Elizabeth. She always remembered the anniversary of the date I miscarried and the anniversary of Liana's due date. Even this summer while in the hospital after her surgery, she texted me a day or two after the date to let me know she remembered and to apologize for not texting me that day. I remember thinking what a rare treasure of a friend she is. She was fighting for her life, and she was still worried about me. Treasures like Elizabeth are a rare find. May I always live in a way that honors our friendship and brings glory to our Savior. 

Saturday, August 20, 2016

First Week of School

      We went back to school this week. Monday was Open House. The boys were excited to "meet" their teachers. When your mom teaches at your school, you often know at least most of your teachers. We bought Logan PE uniforms. He dresses out for PE this year. Yikes! I can't believe he is old enough for that.

    On Tuesday afternoon, we went to see Nonnie for our back to school hair cuts. The boys are getting pretty good at telling Nonnie what they want done.

      Wednesday was the first official day. The boys agreed on cinnamon rolls for their special first day of school breakfast. This is actually the first year they started on the same day. That was a little surreal.

     We snapped a couple of quick pictures before heading out the door. 

     The boys had a little bit of anxiety because they mixed up the classes this year. Logan has been with the same group of kids for three years. But that was quickly gone once they realized they still had good friends in their classes even if they didn't have all their best buddies.    

     The boys love of their teachers. Daddy was happy to come home to three happy campers each night. I feel like this will be great year for both boys. Joshua and I are so thankful for the group of people who make up Team Lo and Team Lu. I know this will be a successful year for the boys.

     Lucas and I are so excited that his music teacher was my elementary music teacher! She was always one of my favorite teachers. It's just a blessing that Lucas will get to experience her music class.

     I have two brand new classes this year. The kiddos seem super sweet and eager to learn. I'm blessed to have a few that I've taught siblings or we're friends with their families. It's always a blessing to serve my friends by teaching their children. I was modeling our all about me book, and I asked one of my little scholars who knows me what he thought one of my hobbies or interests are. I was thinking he would say Alabama football, but his response was so much better, "having me in your class!".

     We are looking forward to an awesome school year!

Friday, August 12, 2016

Happy 7th Birthday, Lucas Elisha!!!

     Lucas is 7 years old today. Where has the time gone? 

     I baked cinnamon rolls with sprinkles for his breakfast before I left for work. We also let him open his presents. He declared today the best birthday ever after opening his gifts!

     When I got home from school, Uncle Josh face timed to say happy birthday. Then we ran to Big D's for birthday cupcakes. I let him talk me into a snocone even though it was practically dinner time. He wanted chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese for his dinner. Then we sang happy birthday and ate cupcakes. 

Dear Lucas,

     Happy Birthday! You are your daddy's mini me. You have a big heart like Daddy and love fiercely like Daddy does. You are my wild child. You do not let the opinions of others rule your life. You love Jesus and going to church to learn more about Him. You are independent and bold and brave. You are also my sweet snuggle buddy when you settle down at night.  I'm so proud of the young man you are becoming! I pray you always love Jesus with your whole heart, mind, and soul! 


Happy 7th Birthday, Lucas Elisha!!! We love you!!! 


Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Fading Away

      Summer is fading away. It's always bittersweet for me. The excitement of a new school year along with the sadness of leaving my boys behind. This year both boys will go with me every day, yet there is sadness in that too. Knowing they are growing up. One year closer to the independent, godly young men we are trying our best to raise them to be. 

     It's been a summer of transitions, changes, and waiting. There have been joys like my Grandpa's miraculous recovery and new friends that fit into our lives like the last piece of a puzzle sliding into place. Strengthened relationships with old friends we love dearly. We are praying and hoping for a miracle for a dear friend we love. 

     And then another miscarriage. While we know God has allowed it,  He is working is to bring good from it. It is difficult, knowing we will never know that sweet baby this side of heaven. 

     Yet I am thankful. Thankful for the sweet boys God has allowed us to keep. Thankful for our friends who love us where we are and walk the good and bad of life with us. Thankful for the sweet memories with old friends, who though we are separated by miles, are always available. Thankful for all the time spent with my sister. Thankful for baby snuggles that help my own broken heart heal. Thankful that after all these years with my quirks and crazy, Joshua still loves me. He actually loves me more each day. 

     This summer has not been at all what I anticipated. In spite of the unexpected, the sadness, and the waiting, this summer has been filled with grace, mercy, and joy far beyond what I deserve. God is good all the time. All the time He is good. 

     As summer fades away, I am thankful for His new mercies every day. 

“Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.”~Lamentations 3:21-23

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Forgetting What Is Behind

     Some old feelings of guilt and condemnation raised their ugly head this week. Early this morning as I frosted the boys' birthday cakes, tears filled my eyes as I re-lived my failure. 

     Then at church, our pastor pulled a brick out of a backpack with the word failure on it. And there I was again with tears in my eyes. 

     And then he said, "Jesus can use even your mistakes to write a really incredible story in your life." 

     It's true. From the ugliness of my sin and failure, He gave me a precious treasure. And I get to watch God write two incredible stories. 

     As I leave condemnation behind and strain forward to what God has next for me in my story, those guilty feelings fade away-replaced with thankfulness and joy. 

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,”
~Philippians 3:13