Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Hello, my name is Kaydi, and I'm a people pleaser.
People pleasing is something I've struggled with all of my life. I have done many things I didn't want to because I didn't want to let someone down. I've also not done things I wanted to because someone else disapproved. It's a deadly trap I walk right in to far too often.
I've been reading The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst. It's all about making wise decisions and discerning which assignments are the ones God has for you. It's been very convicting for me.
I often find myself trying to juggle things in my life to help someone else. Sometimes, I believe God has called me to do that. But I know I've rearranged my life around others plenty of times when I didn't have to and certainly didn't need to. I had more than enough on my own plate without taking something off of someone else's.
I'm working on thinking through the consequences of what my yes or no could bring. Then praying God would give me wisdom and discernment to choose yes when yes is His will, and for the courage to say no when it's not my assignment.
Fearing people is a dangerous trap,
but trusting the LORD means safety.
(Proverbs 29:25 NLT)
Posted by Kaydi at 11:30 PM
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Sunday: The boys were sick, so we stayed home and rested. Sunday evening I finally put out my fall decor.
Monday: Joshua took me to Cheesecake Factory to celebrate my birthday early.
Tuesday: We celebrated my birthday as a family. Only Lucas went to his swim lesson. Logan told me he didn't want to go, so I checked him, and sure enough, he had fever.
Wednesday: We lit a candle in memory of Liana for Pregnany and Infant Loss Awareness Day. Lucas and I went to AWANA and then left early for his make up swim lesson. Logan was still sick.
Thursday: Both boys went to their final swim lesson. Logan still had a slight temperature, but I let him go.
Friday: I drove down to Glen Rose with my mom, Rebecca, and Rachel for Ladies Retreat with our church. Before we left, Joshua took off part of my front dash, so he could fix my iPhone connection.
Saturday: My mom dressed up for the photo booth.
And Alabama had a huge blow out win over A&M (59-0)! Roll Tide!
Posted by Kaydi at 8:34 PM
Saturday, October 18, 2014
The boys finished up swim lessons on Thursday. This week, they had lessons on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Logan missed Tuesday and Wednesday because he was sick and didn't want to go. He went for the last one on Thursday because even though he still had fever, he said he felt like he could swim. Both boys graduted to the next level. Lucas will move to the dolphin class in the spring, and Logan will move to level 3. Logan is still doing this funky thing with his legs from time to time, but he's doing much better at having straight leg kicks.
Posted by Kaydi at 9:16 PM
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day. This day has been important to me in the past as I've remembered the babies my sister and our friends have lost. This is the first one since we lost our Liana. I anticipated today being very hard. Like I've lost ground in my healing process hard.
But it wasn't. I stopped and bought a candle to burn in Liana's memory after I dropped Lucas off at school this morning. When I returned home, I snapped a picture of the candle with Liana's sono picture and posted to social media. I shed a few tears as I wrote the caption for the picture. But really I've been okay.
That lit candle has been a symbol of hope today. Each time, I've looked at it, I've been reminded that even in the darkest, blackest moments of grief, there has always been this flicker of hope shining. That burning candle has brought more smiles than tears today.
I think I'm finally coming to grips with the reality that my two biggest fears are unfounded. Liana will never, ever be forgotten by Joshua, Logan, Lucas, and I. I know there are others who will never forget her either. And Liana's life and death have a purpose. We don't fully understand it in our human reasoning. Liana accomplished something in 14 weeks in the womb that I've yet to accomplish in 32 years-God's work for her life. That's all I want for my children~to know Jesus, to love Jesus, to walk with Jesus and do His work. To shine their lights for Him. Just like that candle.
Posted by Kaydi at 10:08 PM
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Last night, Joshua took me to Cheesecake Factory for an early birthday date.
My mom made me breakfast this morning before work. Then I redeemed my free Starbucks coffee on the way to work and enjoyed my Salted Caramel Mocha. Leigh Ann had a little treat for me, and my boss gave me a card. My coworkers sang Happy Birthday to me as instigated by sweet friend, Cara. When I came home, the boys had made sweet cards for me, and they had gotten me a cake. We had my favorite chicken tortilla soup for dinner. My brother was able to call. Then I took Lucas to his swim lesson. Unfortunately Logan is running a fever tonight, and wanted to skip his lesson. That's how I knew he was sick.
I'm thankful for the many friends who wished me happy birthday on Facebook. Today was a good day.
Posted by Kaydi at 10:24 PM