Friday, February 21, 2014


     Weary. That's how I feel today. 

     Weary from working through my grief. I actually had a couple of pretty good days this week. I had some moments of pure joy. I had almost forgotten my heart could feel that. But last night, I realized we would've found out the gender of our baby this coming week. Boy or girl. Daughter or son. Brother or sister. When I was still carrying the baby, it felt like 20 weeks would never get here. Like it was an eternity to wait to find out the baby's gender. Now we do wait until we reach eternity to find out. 

     I really want to lay in bed and cry and forget that life is going on around me. But there are lunches to make, meetings to attend, grades to enter, and a host of other things that must be done. So I asked Jesus to give me His strength because I can't do it. 

     Weary from trying to keep Logan encouraged. His tummy hurts a lot. More than it doesn't. We're still waiting on test results to determine a treatment plan. We went for blood testing for allergies on Wednesday after school. I've told Logan, if you end up with tummy troubles the rest of your life, you're going to have to learn to function with it. I wrote out and personalized Philippians 4:13 on an index card that he can carry with him at school. On the back, I told him I love him. I told him to pull it out and read it when he thinks his tummy hurts too bad or he just wants to come home. I've offered incentives if he'll just stick with it and not go to the nurse. I've reminded him to pray and ask God for His strength. I'm trying to equip him and keep him encouraged. These are tough lessons for a seven year old. 

     So today, I pray, that the Lord will the portion of strength Logan and I both need to face our struggles. 

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