Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness

     Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day. This day has been important to me in the past as I've remembered the babies my sister and our friends have lost. This is the first one since we lost our Liana. I anticipated today being very hard. Like I've lost ground in my healing process hard.

     But it wasn't. I stopped and bought a candle to burn in Liana's memory after I dropped Lucas off at school this morning. When I returned home, I snapped a picture of the candle with Liana's sono picture and posted to social media. I shed a few tears as I wrote the caption for the picture. But really I've been okay. 

     That lit candle has been a symbol of hope today. Each time, I've looked at it, I've been reminded that even in the darkest, blackest moments of grief, there has always been this flicker of hope shining. That burning candle has brought more smiles than tears today. 

     I think I'm finally coming to grips with the reality that my two biggest fears are unfounded. Liana will never, ever be forgotten by Joshua, Logan, Lucas, and I. I know there are others who will never forget her either. And Liana's life and death have a purpose. We don't fully understand it in our human reasoning. Liana accomplished something in 14 weeks in the womb that I've yet to accomplish in 32 years-God's work for her life. That's all I want for my children~to know Jesus, to love Jesus, to walk with Jesus and do His work. To shine their lights for Him. Just like that candle. 

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