The Bassinet

     We have this bassinet that is so special to us. We were given the money to purchase it right before Logan was born. I remember Joshua taking me to buy it. It was actually my second choice. The one I had been eyeing for months had sold out and was discontinued. We got it home and Joshua put it together for me. 

     The next baby to sleep in the bassinet was Josiah. I remember Heather emailing me pictures of it in the nursery with Harley (their dog) checking it out before Siah's arrival. After that the bassinet continued to be passed around our circle of friends. It made its way back to us before Lucas was born. Then it made the rounds again. Logan and I took it the Hesters so Hannah could sleep it. My nephew Kyle slept in it. And so many other sweet babies slept in it too. 

     Logan just knew he was going to sleep on the bottom while baby Luc slept in the top. 

     Shortly before we miscarried Liana, the bassinet had made its way back to us again. We had set it up in our room since we were going to be using it in a few months anyway. Then we lost her. I would sit on the edge of the bed staring at that empty bassinet crying. As painful as it was to see the empty bassinet I couldn't let it go. 

     A week ago today, Lucas started kindergarten. A week ago today, Joshua put away the bassinet. It was past time to do it. I fought Joshua about it until he looked at me and gently said, "That empty bassinet is a painful reminder of Liana's death. And it's a reminder that God hasn't given us anymore babies." 

     I realized how selfish I've been. I was holding onto Liana by holding onto the bassinet. I was blinded by my own pain and grief; I couldn't see how hard it was for Joshua to look at that empty bassinet every day. I said, "Okay." And let him pack it away. It's been hard. In some ways I've felt like I lost her all over again. 

     Maybe just maybe, one day, we'll get to unpack it and use it again. But even if we don't, I'll always think of all the sweet babies who slept in that bassinet. 

“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.”

Psalms 27:13-14 NASB

Justin's First Day of High School

     Justin started high school today. It's hard to believe that he's old enough to be high school. I'm not sure how that adorable two year boy I met at the IBC Pumpkin Patch turned into a high school freshman. Joshua called to hear about his day, and he was at band practice. He's on the drum line, and really seems to be enjoying band.

Happy First Day of High School, Justin!!! We are so proud of you!!!

Logan's Camp Interview

     This was Logan first year to attend church camp. It was the first time he had ever been away from home that long (5 days, 4 nights). And with the exception of a sleepover birthday party at the beginning of summer, it was his first time to be away from family. I was nervous. So nervous. He's my child that still climbs into bed with us at night. He will be 9 tomorrow. But he did great and I'm so proud of him. I decided to interview him, so he could share his camp experience.

What camp did you attend? CentriKid.

Where was it? OBU (Ouachita Baptist University) in Arkadelphia, Arkansas

Who was your leader? Miss Rachel, Miss Jenna, Miss Sara, Mr. Chris, Mr. Jason, and Uncle Brice, Mr. Chris was my church group leader.

Who was your roommate? Carter

Who did you hang out with? Jacob, Trenton, Carter, Jadon, and Richard.

What was the theme verse? You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13 (He has it memorized and has been home for over a week.)

What was the camp theme? Club F.I.T. (Faith in Training)

What is your favorite memory? Learning more about God and playing flag football

What is something you didn't like about camp? the showers (community bathroom)

What was one thing you learned during worship or Bible study time? Different ways to pray

What were your track time activities? Which one was your favorite? Splish Splash pool games, flag football and tennis. Swimming and tennis were my favorite.

Do you want to go back next year? YES!!!! (looked at me like I was crazy for asking)

Happy 6th Birthday, Lucas Elisha!!!

     Lucas turned 6 on the day I went back to work. I decorated for his birthday the night before.

     I had his birthday breakfast all ready for him.

     They went swimming at Aunt Calli's while I was at work. Of course, they had a blast! Gram bought him McDonald's for lunch. Then we had Captain American cupcakes after dinner.

Dear Lucas Elisha,

     You have this big compassionate heart. And those big chocolate eyes. You bring so much joy and fun to our family! You're always dressing up in crazy outfits and playing pretend. Your favorite alter egos are the Green Ninja, Leonardo the Ninja Turtle, and Batman. You love Jesus and love going to church. You love your friends and are fiercely loyal. You can be very picky and particle about things, but then you can be easy going too. It just depends on your mood. You're complex-like your Daddy. And I love that about both of you. You love to sit in my lap and snuggle. You don't like to share me with Logan, but will when Daddy forces you too. You and Logan may fight, but no body better mess with Logan or you will take them down. I love you, Lucas Elisha!!! I'm so thankful God chose me to be your mommy! You are my special boy!

Love,
       Mommy

Logan's First Day of Fourth Grade

     Wednesday was Logan's first day of fourth grade. I'm still not sure how we have already reached this point in life. It seems like yesterday I was bringing him home from the hospital. And now he's in fourth grade.

      He loved Ms. Craft and math. He thinks Mrs. Warneke is really going to help him be a better writer! He's so excited about his classes. The best thing was he started his day with his dyslexia teacher, Mrs. Roszak!

      We celebrated by picking up some Sonic slushes on the way home. We are sure 4th grade is going to be an awesome year!

Lucas's First Day of Kindergarten

     Today was Lucas's first day of kindergarten. Today was hard for me. I'm naturally an emotional person who struggles with my children moving on to the next phase of life. Lucas is the last baby I'll send to kindergarten. Today was so hard for me.

       For Lucas, today was AWESOME!!!! (his words). Joshua and I took him to school and went to kindergarten orientation. Then we kissed him goodbye and sent him off to class. He smiled and was so excited. I went to teach the rest of my classes, and Joshua headed to work. Lucas had PE today with Coach Eddlemon, and of course he loved it! I think he's glad to have one of Logan's favorite teachers as his own.

     He loves his teacher, Mrs. Walton. He kept telling how they had fun. And all the things he got to do today. He told me several times he loves his teacher, and she is nice. He was disappointed when we told him he has to wait until Tuesday to go back to class.

      We stopped and got cupcakes from Big D's to celebrate a successful first day. I'm so thankful for Mrs. Walton and Coach Eddlemon and how they helped my boy have a great first day of school. Wonderful, caring teachers are such a blessing.

     And I admit, I peeked in the window twice to check on him.