Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Elizabeth

     This afternoon, I walked into my friend Krissi's classroom to deliver some gift cards for our friend. Krissi's students were the first class Elizabeth and I taught at UME. They were writing journal entries about Elizabeth. Then Krissi reminded me she needed something about Elizabeth from me. I just teared up. I've sat down to write about her on this blog many times since her death. And I just can't. No words will ever be adequate enough and my emotions are still so overwhelming. I dread walking into the building every morning. It just feels empty without her. Once my students arrive, I'm fine. This loss is so very hard for me. I emailed Krissi what I wrote on Facebook, the day Elizabeth went home to be with Jesus. This is what I posted that day.


This morning, Jesus called one of His beloved, my best friend, Elizabeth home. She is healed, whole, and happy dancing at His feet. Many times over the last 5 years, we have said that God knew we needed each other and perfectly orchestrated events so our lives would intersect. She has always been able to see me-the real me. And she loved me as I was faults and all. She pushed me to be a better teacher, wife, mother, friend. She always pointed me back to Jesus. She took me by the hand and walked through one of the darkest times of my life with me. I was a broken, grieving mess and she held my hand until I could find the light again. I am a better person because I knew her. My heart is shattered over her loss, but how thankful I am to have loved her so deeply that her loss hurts this much. I was reminded today over and over by people who knew us how much she loved me. As I drove onto our school campus this morning trying to hold it together so I could honor her by putting on a smile and teaching my babies like she would have wanted me to do, I saw a beautiful rainbow peeking out between the clouds. What a beautiful reminder of God's faithfulness to Elizabeth as she received her eternal reward this morning and a beautiful reminder to me that He will be faithful to those of us left behind. Elizabeth, I love you. One day we will dance together at the feet of Jesus.
“Precious in the sight of the LORD Is the death of His saints.”~Psalms‬ ‭116:15‬ ‭
 
     About a week after Elizabeth died, her husband came to check on me after school. He told me it brings him peace, it makes him feel better knowing that Elizabeth is in heaven holding my baby. I miscarried that baby at 14 weeks in January 2014. I wouldn't have made it through that time without Elizabeth. She always remembered the anniversary of the date I miscarried and the anniversary of Liana's due date. Even this summer while in the hospital after her surgery, she texted me a day or two after the date to let me know she remembered and to apologize for not texting me that day. I remember thinking what a rare treasure of a friend she is. She was fighting for her life, and she was still worried about me. Treasures like Elizabeth are a rare find. May I always live in a way that honors our friendship and brings glory to our Savior. 

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